I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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