i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
