also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
