I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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