He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
