it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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