Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
