If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
barbara walters just said penis...
People in love make me want to vomit
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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