but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
