I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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