What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
