she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
