she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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