If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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