Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I look excited, but its just a facade.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
