Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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