I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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