hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
