No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
