**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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