I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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