Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Randomize
