I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
