Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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