Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
