I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
