Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
