fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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