You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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