You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
