Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
