Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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