Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Randomize
