mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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