By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
