Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
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