I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
