he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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