just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
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