She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
