My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
