so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
