its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Michael Bay diarrhea
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
