no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
