idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i drank out of a bidet.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
