bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
