I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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