Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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