my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
