Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
