Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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